Life's legacy Planning helps people who have considered the effect their passing will have on their loved ones and who wish to streamline the processes. Easing stress and trauma when this time comes for those they love.

Losing two very close family members in 18 months was, to say the least, a harrowing experience.

One family member had everything arranged and organised. A funeral plan with

* music

* readings

* flowers picked

* important paper work gathered and stored in one place

*an up to date will written

*Powers of Attorney in place

*house in order and decluttered

This family members forethought and organisation made for an experience that, while incredibly heartbreaking, was far less traumatic.

The other family member died young; clearly did not expect to be leaving us so soon and thought she had more time.

Thankfully, there was an up to date will, but that was the only thing that was organised.

Its a huge misconception that having a will in place is all you need to do.

There is so much more to making sure you leave your estate as easy as possible for your family to manage than many people ever realise.

In the weeks following this death much searching through the house took place -

*looking for paperwork and important documents

*meetings and phone conversations with solicitors and funeral directors

* being asked about music

* readings

* flowers

*having to pick the coffin

It felt as though we were second guessing her wishes and hoping it was what she would have wanted. This was exhausting, emotionally emotive and mentally draining.

The long term effect of having searched through a loved ones house and personal belongings only days after they have died is traumatic and long lasting. It felt intrusive and disrespectful.

Constantly being asked questions about someone else's affairs is very hard to deal with. Just when you think you have sorted something out and can relax; the next barrage of questions starts.

Being asked to look at a catalogue and pick a coffin is something not easily forgotten.

I wish my mother had been as organised as my grandmother. She was clearly mistaken that she had more time on this earth.

Simply handing my grandmothers file over to the solicitor and knowing everything was there, organised and planned helped reduce added, unnecessary trauma at this already devastating time. If as a family we had decided we would navigate the settling of the estate along side the solicitor it would have been so much easier as all information was present and documented.